Key Takeaways
- Year-end holidays may be a good time to initiate a discussion about financial matters that may impact your family.
- If you have adult children, you may want to discuss your financial situation with them.
- Your financial situation can include your sources of income, how you pay your bills, the passwords you use to access your financial information, where your accounts are kept online, and who makes up your team of financial, legal, and tax professionals.*
- For the majority of families in the study, the next generation failed to maintain the wealth they inherited. In most cases, the failure to sustain multi-generational wealth was traced back to a lack of communication and trust within the family, followed by a lack of preparedness.
Why Talk About Money During the Holidays?
As you gather with family around the holidays, it may be a good opportunity to discuss a potentially uncomfortable, but necessary topic: family finances. This is especially true if you are older and have adult children who need to be brought up to speed on your financial situation.
Getting your affairs in order and having a strategy for what will occur after you are gone is one of the greatest gifts you can give those you care most about. Taking some time out of your family’s year-end festivities to have an open, honest, and productive conversation about financial matters may be a good way to start what should be an ongoing process.
What Financial Information Should You Share With Adult Children?
While some families are extremely open about discussing their finances, many others never talk about money, even with their adult children. Maybe they feel it’s too private and none of their business. Perhaps they believe that any financial discussion could create tension, which is why they procrastinate. They may also think discussing mortality would be too disturbing, leading them to avoid the topic entirely. But regardless of the reason, keeping your children in the dark can lead to greater stress for everyone.¹
As financial professionals, we have seen both sides. What we’ve learned is that families who take the time to talk through financial issues tend to have more stability during periods of grief. On the flip side, families who don’t discuss finances are often left to navigate uncertainty, conflict, and other issues without any preparation.
That’s why, as hard as it may be, involving your children in your financial strategy is more than practical; it’s a powerful way to manage your legacy and help give your loved ones clarity when it matters most.
Here is some financial information you may want to share:
- Income Sources
If you don’t want to share your exact income, your children should know where it comes from, especially if you are retired. By at least making them aware of the sources of your income stream, you give them early insight into your financial situation.² - Bill Pay
We all have our own preferred way of paying our monthly bills. Your spouse and adult children need to know how you do it in case someone needs to take over. Are most of your bills paid automatically each month, and if so, from which of your accounts? Do you pay bills through your online banking app when they come in? Or are you writing and mailing checks? Providing these details in advance, in a simple, clean way, can eliminate problems down the road.² - Passwords
Passwords and usernames are often tricky to remember, so imagine your spouse or adult children trying to figure them out in an emergency. You don’t need to hand them the list now, but you should consider having either a password manager or a typed list that they know how to access if needed.² - Digital Footprint
Much of your financial information is likely stored online rather than in paper form. If you receive financial information electronically, consider choosing a trusted family member to understand the details of the information, its digital storage, and how to access it.² - Your Team
If you have a team of professionals who help you with your finances, including a financial professional, an accountant, and an attorney, your adult children should at least know who they are and how to reach them. You should provide these professionals with your children’s names and contact information and specify what information is authorized to be discussed. Arranging a meeting to introduce everyone in person may also be a good idea.²
The Reasons Wealth Transfer Fails
The Institute for Preparing Heirs concluded that success was connected to families retaining control of their inherited assets. For the majority of families in the study, the next generation failed to maintain the wealth they inherited. In most cases, the failure to sustain multi-generational wealth was traced back to a lack of communication and trust within the family, followed by a lack of preparedness.³
Why Wealth Transfers Often Fail
Squandering an inheritance is nothing new. In 1877, when railroad magnate Cornelius Vanderbilt died, he left an estate worth an estimated $200 billion in today's dollars. In less than 50 years, most of the money was gone. And while you might not have Vanderbilt money, U.S. households are projected to transfer $124 trillion to heirs and charities over the next two decades. Do you want your piece of that to last for generations?⁴
The more you can incorporate family communication into your overall strategy, the better your chances of your assets passing down to your loved ones according to your wishes. If you are going to meet with your family during the holidays, why not take advantage of the opportunity to start these conversations? Here are some topics to consider.
- Your Values
When you meet, explain the values that guide your financial goals. Is your family open to your approach? You may want to create a mission statement to summarize your wishes and why they are important to you. - Your Investment Philosophy
If you have an overarching investment philosophy, share it at the meeting to give your family a frame of reference about your thoughts on finances and investing. This can include a focus on the specific goals as well as the best practices you’ve learned over the years.³
How Should We Structure a Family Financial Meeting?
- Set Clear Objectives
Define the purpose of the meeting. Determine if your primary focus is wealth transfer, budgeting, financial responsibilities, etc. - Choose the Right Time and Place
Pick a neutral, comfortable, and distraction-free location for the gathering. Be careful to schedule the meeting at a convenient time when everyone can be fully present and engaged. - Prepare in Advance
Bring copies of your relevant documents (e.g., budgets, or investment summaries).
You know your family, so you may be able to anticipate questions, concerns, or pushbacks. Take some time to prepare thoughtful responses. - Start with Transparency and Empathy
Begin the meeting with an overview of why the conversation is important to you and the family. - Cover Key Topics
Values and Goals: Share your financial values and long-term goals for the family.
Financial Overview: Provide an overview of your financial situation, including your assets, liabilities, and income sources. - Encourage Open Dialogue
Make it a no-judgment zone by allowing everyone to ask questions and express their thoughts and feelings.
Be patient and listen closely to what your children have to say. - Involve Professionals
Consider inviting your financial professional, or other relevant professionals to help answer questions and guide the conversation. - End with Actionable Steps
Document the key takeaways and decisions made during the meeting.
When Is the Best Time to Hold a Family Financial Discussion?
While year-end holidays may be a good time to start a financial discussion because more generations may be in the same location, you can schedule a meeting at any time. A logical time to have your initial financial get-together, or a follow-up, may be when there is a change in the family.
We Are Here to Help
If you approach your financial discussion with empathy, clarity, and preparation, you can create a positive and productive environment that provides information, addresses issues, and hopefully strengthens family bonds.
We are here to help. If you have any questions about what was covered or would like us to participate at your meeting, please do not hesitate to contact us.
*Primerica representatives are not financial or estate planners, or tax advisors. For related advice, individuals should consult an appropriately licensed professional.
¹ Forbes, June 25, 2025
² AARP, August 2, 2023
³ Vanguard, August 2025
⁴ Charles Schwab, August 14, 2025